


A Drunken Ren is a Dangerous Ren

by DailyAl, TellyLikesPudding



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Armie-Geddon, Armitage Hux - Freeform, Darth Tantrum and his Evil Space Ginger, Drunk!Kylo, Even Phasma ships it, Evil Space Husbands, Hurt/Comfort, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, TellyAl, Top!hux, because, gods we're going to hell, kylo is pretty, ok?, power bottom!kylo, throws self into trash compactor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:41:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5708512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DailyAl/pseuds/DailyAl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellyLikesPudding/pseuds/TellyLikesPudding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux cursed his past self for even having the notion of taking the young Knight of Ren out drinking. What had he been thinking? That a bit of mere alcohol would calm him? Of course, how was he to know that the young man couldn't hold his liquor?</p><p>(Now Updated for Armie-geddon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Alright," Hux huffed as he half-carried Kylo Ren through the doorway into his quarters. At this point Kylo was almost completely limp in Hux's arms, not even attempting to stand on his own. Hux cursed his past self for even having the notion of taking the young Knight of Ren out drinking. What had he been thinking? That a bit of mere alcohol would calm him? Of course, how was he to know that the younger man couldn't hold his liquor?

Hux grunted as he dragged the drunken knight onto his bed, sighing in relief at the loss of the heavy weight. Hux hadn't quite anticipated just how difficult it would be to drag him across the entire bloody ship.

He glanced over Kylo, who was babbling something or other through the harsh vocal modulator of his helmet. His words were slurred and completely unintelligible and Hux simply rolled his eyes and turned to leave. He gasped when long gloved fingers wrapped around his wrist, halting his retreat.

"Where are you going?" Kylo slurred, tugging Hux's arm slightly.

"I'm going to my quarters," Hux stated tiredly, trying briefly to release his wrist without result.

"Can I come with you?" Kylo asked.

"Not unless you can walk yourself there-" Hux mumbled before the meaning of the request had truely registered.  

Hux turned to face the other man, surprise clear on his face. "You… How drunk are you, Ren?"

"It isn't an R. You're pronouncing it wrong," the drunken man mumbled.

Hux rolled his eyes, marking off the occurance as simply drunken rambling.

"Just go to sleep. If you wish, I'll come back in the morning," Hux sighed, wrenching his wrist out of Kylo's grasp and smoothing out his uniform.

"Why don't you come now?" Kylo inquired. Hux shook his head in exasperation, facing Ren once again.

“I should’ve never let you drink so bloody much. Honestly, I prefer it when you're breaking my ship.”

Kylo sat up clumsily, leaning heavily against the wall.

“Have I upset you, General?” Kylo asked in what Hux decided was meant to be a teasing tone. Hux rolled his eyes and crossed his arms tightly with a pinched expression; he just wanted to go to sleep.

“Ah. I can see that I have. I hope you’ll allow me to make it up to you?”

"Why don't you just-" Hux cut himself off sharply when his normally responsible and disciplined mind took an incredibly non-innocent turn. Red stained his cheeks as he imagined the young knight on his knees before him, looking up at him with those wide black eyes, those full pouting lips. He imagined running his fingers through that black mop of hair as Ren took him in deeper and deeper-

"Speechless? Wow. Now that is something special,” Kylo stated, effectively breaking Hux out of his reverie.

The General scowled down at the drunken man. He could tell the son of a bitch was smirking at him through that damned helmet and he felt an overwhelming urge to punch that stupid bucket off of his head. So he did. Or, at least he tried to. His swing had somehow slowed and before it connected his fist unraveled and his punch became an odd sort of caress to the side of Kylo’s helmet. Hux dragged his fingers across the engravings of the helmet absently while Kylo watched him like a hungry predator. A very drunk hungry predator.

“I…” Hux stumbled for his words and Kylo went in for the kill, grabbing Hux by the arms and dragging him onto the bed. Hux let out a surprised yelp as Kylo swung one long black-clad leg over him, straddling the General’s slim hips. The red haired man gaped up at him, pale green eyes staring directly through the slit in the mask.

“You’re beautiful when you're angry,” Ren hisses as he drags his gloved hands along the coarse fabric of Hux’s jacket.

“Ren. Stop this. You're drunk and I-” Hux’s mouth snapped shut when Kylo reached up to pull off his ever-present helmet, tossing it aside with a deafening thud.

The man would never get used to just how young the Knight looked.

“You're staring, General. Do you see something particularly interesting?” Kylo slurred, leaning down closer to Hux. Hux sucked in a deep breath, completely lost in deep dark eyes, warm almost black brown with an occasional sheen of murky green.

He opened his mouth to speak when he suddenly snapped out of his trance, realising the position they were currently in. He hastily pushed Kylo off of his lap, jumping up onto his feet and putting a few yards distance between them. Kylo stared at him, surprise and confusion and, dear merciful maker, arousal, clearly etched on his unusually rosy face. Hux cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Erm, I-I shall send a medical-droid to check on you in the morning. Try to get some sleep.” Hux nodded and all but sprinted out of Kylo Ren’s quarters, frantic and hard and utterly baffled.

………

Hux didn't see Kylo Ren again for nearly a month. The young Knight was apparently absorbed in intensive training and had locked himself in one of the larger conference rooms with rations enough to last him as long as he needed. Hux had attempted to check the security footage but it seemed that Kylo had taken time to find and destroy every single camera in the bloody room. What training could he possibly be doing that was so important?

Hux was aggravated, colder than usual towards anyone that even attempted to speak to him. He couldn't stop thinking about their last encounter. Was it the drink or did Kylo Ren truly want him? Hux groaned in annoyance. He shouldn't obsess over this. Over-analysing a situation like this hardly ever presented positive results.

Hux shook his head and dismissed all thoughts of the raven haired Knight. He resolved to banish him from his mind, which of course was precisely when he encountered him. He blinked at the familiar mask, trying and failing to regain his composure as Kylo Ren stood mere inches from him. He could feel the heat resonating off of the other man and he fought not to blush.

“Ah. Ren. I assume since you're here that you’ve finished sulking?”

A distorted noise like static escaped from the vocal filter of the helmet; a soft and humourless laugh. Danger lurked in that laugh and Hux held back a shiver.

“Don't you dare patronise me, Hux,” Kylo hissed warningly. Hux took a step back before he could think better of it and Kylo straightened his back to loom over the other man with his minuscule height advantage.

“And do not presume to know how my mind works.” Kylo’s distorted voice echoes down the abandoned hallway of the high priority officer’s quarters. Their bodies were barely inches apart and Hux refused to back away again, squaring his shoulders and glaring straight into the slit of the mask.

“Indeed. I shall take that into account. Good evening, Lord Ren,” Hux said dismissively, strolling past Kylo with a sly gleam in his pale green eyes. He walked to the door of his quarters and punched in his personal code, entering and stripping off his greatcoat. His door slid shut but he was certain he was not alone. He turned and there was Kylo standing but a few feet away.

“Don't you have anything important to be doing? I'm sure there are still a few control panels intact just waiting for you to slash them into a burning heap.” Hux set about removing his belt with a badly concealed smirk.

Kylo stormed over to face Hux, his shoulders tensed and his fists clenched.

“You should know by now to never speak to me that way. Or are you really as stupid as I had first suspected?”

Hux let out a bark of a laugh and straightened to address Kylo Ren face to face.

“You’re really grasping at straws with these insults. You of all should know I am no fool.”

The two men glared at each other, both attempting to make the other blink first. Hux let his eyes wander over the knight's black-clad form. He tried to imagine what exactly could lay beneath those layers. Hux took a chance and reached out with speed that seemed to take the Knight by surprise. He grabbed either side of the helmet concealing Kylo’s face, disengaged the seals, and pulled it off.

Startled black eyes met his pale green and Hux was once again transfixed.

Kylo’s pale face was flushed red, his plump lips swollen from his teeth worrying at them. Hux dropped the helmet, not even flinching at the deafening thud. He brought his hand up slowly to caress Kylo’s smooth cheek, his thumb trailing over freckles and moles and plush pink lips. Kylo didn't move, simply staring as Hux fondled the side of his face almost reverently.

“You're beautiful when you're angry,” Hux dared to say, mimicking Ren’s words from so long ago. The young knight sucked in a breath of surprise as Hux’s thumb breached through his lips. Hux groaned when Kylo welcomed the slight intrusion, sucking just barely.

Hux moved his hands to rest behind Kylo’s neck, his fingers weaving together through thick inky hair. He moved in slowly at first, testing the waters with a gentle kiss at the edge of the other man's lips. He soon became bolder and moved in for a deep kiss. Kylo bit back a moan, instead focusing on sucking and biting at Hux’s lower lip. Hux gripped Kylo’s hair tighter as the kiss grew more and more intense. The two men engaged in a fierce battle for dominance, the kiss becoming all tongue and teeth and perfectly obscene sounds.

Hux shoved Kylo so the young man landed on his cot, panting for breath as he began to remove the other man's complicated clothing. Hux tossed the belt aside and stripped him of his robe, his tunic, his shirt, his boots, his trousers. His eyes scanned over Kylo’s body appraisingly. The man was covered in lean muscle and sinew, compliments of his constant training.

Kylo squirmed slightly under the scrutiny, his hands moving to cover himself. Hux glanced up to see the blush spreading up from the young man's neck to his cheeks.

“What's wrong?” Hux demanded more than asked, running his hands up and down Kylo’s strong and oh so pale thighs.

“I… You don't have to pretend. I know you don't find me attractive.”

Hux raised an eyebrow as the other man stuttered almost nervously.

“What do you mean?”

Kylo turned his face away, biting his lip. “I tried… a month ago. I took off my helmet and… you told me to stop and you ran. You made it very clear that you aren't attracted to me so you don't have to-”

Kylo gasped when Hux’s lips slammed against his, not painfully but passionately. Hux cupped Kylo’s face with both hands, rubbing his thumbs in gentle circles over Kylo's cheeks.

“Don't be a fool. You're beautiful; breathtaking even.”

Kylo’s eyes went wide with surprise, his breathing short and shallow from the kiss.

“Then… then why did you leave?”

Hux chuckled softly, running the backs of his fingers down Kylo’s jaw and neck.

“Because you were drunk. I wanted you to remember everything. Every noise, every touch, every bite.”

Kylo surged upward, crashing his lips against Hux’s in a violently passionate kiss. He yanked the other man down to sit between his legs on the bed and dug his fingers into the neatly cut and sliced back ginger hair. Hux groaned, rutting hungrily against Kylo’s erection. Ren hissed, releasing Hux’s hair and moving to grip the bottom of Hux’s uniform shirt. Kylo pulled up briefly before getting distracted by the newly bared skin. Hux shivered softly as Kylo dragged the backs of his fingers across the flat plane of his pale stomach.

“You're so much thinner without that ridiculous coat,” the man teased. Hux moved to fire back an insult but it caught in his throat at the look on Kylo's face. His pupils were blown wide, dark brown covered almost completely by black, his cheeks were flushed in excitement, his lips were deep red and swollen and beautiful. Kylo continued in his ministrations, oblivious to Hux’s gaze. He ran his hands further up Hux’s slim torso, over his soft belly; his warm fingertips brushed over peaked nipples. Hux moaned and Kylo’s lustful eyes flicked up to meet his. Kylo’s blush deepened further at seeing the other man's eyes fixated on him in wonder and arousal. “What?” Kylo inquired softly.

“What are you looking at?” His tone was slightly guarded and impatient.

Hux chuckled and removed his shirt completely, tossing it aside and turning back to gaze down at the man beneath him.

“I'm looking at you. I'm wondering how you could've ever thought of yourself as unattractive.”

Kylo’s entire face flushed with red and he growled in slight embarrassment. With one swift movement, Kylo flipped them around so he was on top of Hux, straddling his slim hips. Hux grunted but continued speaking in a reverent tone, studying Kylo's body from his new position.

“You are otherworldly.”

“Stop talking,” Kylo grumbled, grinding his erection against Hux’s still clothed cock. Hux groaned and dug his fingers into Kylo’s hair.

“You're perfect.”

Kylo growled and slunk down Hux’s body, undoing the man's trousers and shucking them off along with his boots. Hux stared into his eyes the entire time, licking his lips in anticipation. Kylo returned the gaze stubbornly as he raked his fingernails across Hux’s abdomen.

Hux hissed and sprung forward, once again on top of Kylo. He ground down hard, tweaking and pinching Kylo's nipples. The man squirmed and thrashed under him, biting back startled and pleasured moans. Hux dragged his hand downward and stroked Kylo’s erection, circling his finger around the head and spreading precome. When they kissed it was tongue and teeth, passionate and sloppy and perfect. Kylo’s moans grew increasingly louder and Hux was thankful, not for the first time, for his soundproof room.

“Hux please. I…” Kylo stuttered, eyes shut tightly and face flushed beautifully. Hux smirked and kneeled between the Ren's long legs. He gripped Ren’s ankles and yanked the other man downward so their hips were flush against each other. Kylo let out a startled moan when Hux sucked on a finger and pushed into him, just barely gently. He moved in and out, in and out, stretching him enough for two more fingers to slip in. Hux revelled in the soft mewling noises Kylo was making with each thrust. When Hux was confident Kylo was prepared he slowly moved up the other man's body, his cock dangerously close to Ren's plush full lips.

“Suck,” he ordered. Kylo obeyed almost immediately, taking Hux into his mouth and hollowing his cheeks. He swirled his tongue in circles around the head of Hux’s cock before inching down. Hux’s breath hitched and he forced himself not to thrust and buck until he was spent. He pulled away before he was brought over the edge, breathing deeply.

Kylo glanced up into his eyes, smirking insolently. Hux slid back down Kylo’s well muscled body, peppering kisses across his stomach and hips before lining up and thrusting into him. Kylo keened in pleasure and pain and Hux reached up to gently stroke the side of his face.

He waited until Kylo relaxed to continue, pressing gentle kisses into the side of his neck. With each thrust Kylo’s moans grew louder and louder, his nails digging into Hux’s back as Hux stroked his hands over every available area, wanting to commit to memory every small dip and crevice, every mole, and every scar. He barely had to touch Kylo’s cock for him to come, back arching and mouth open in a silent scream. Hux thrusted a few more times before joining him, spending deep inside of him.

The two lay beside each other, panting and sweating. Hux leaned over and gently pressed a kiss into Kylo’s temple. He'd definitely have to get him drunk more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit:
> 
> Hello all! This story was recently updated for Armie-geddon! Please enjoy and leave your comments and kudos!
> 
> One kudos= One cookie for Drunk!Ren
> 
> Originally posted 12 of January, 2016


	2. Armie-geddon

Hello readers!

If you haven't heard, our beloved General Ginger now has a backstory and, more importantly, a first name; Armitage.

We here at TellyAl totally support bastard, daddy issues, Armitage Hux, so we're going through all of our TFA material to edit the contents to include poor Armie and we've titled it Armie-geddon!

So enjoy this time, dear lovely readers, for this is the golden age of TellyAl Kylux stories!

As always, we remain ever your humble servants of sin.

~Telly

-Al

=Hela

**Author's Note:**

> Oh dear god. This started out as an innocent idea. I blame you, Al. You always turn everything I write into porn!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! There's more on its way as I have no life and Al never ever runs out of ideas in her depraved little mind. Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Edit:
> 
> Hello all! This story was recently updated for Armie-geddon! Please enjoy and leave your comments and kudos!
> 
> One kudos= One cookie for Drunk!Ren
> 
> Originally posted 12 of January, 2016


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